You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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