Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
