At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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