Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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