Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
