Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
she pinky promised me she was 18
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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