Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
