i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Sorry about my life...
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