I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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