Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
