My hand turned me down
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
