That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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