I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
