I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
