This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
