And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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