Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
