apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
