Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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