I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
