dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
