Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
