All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
