We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize