Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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