Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
