well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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