im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
