"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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