You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
