I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
