Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize