I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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