I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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