My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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