I can text with my tongue
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
