my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i think i have two assholes
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize