South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
