Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
