also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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