whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
