There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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