This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
