Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
