talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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