i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
