I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
