It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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