i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
