What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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