Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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