The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
