I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
