come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
