my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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