Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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