I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
