remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
