sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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