Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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